What does the 30LL crew think about Imad Mughniyye’s assassination in Syria? Should expats be given the right to participate in the Lebanese parliamentary elections?
الجمعة الماضية، إجتمع ممثلون عن حركة أمل، تيار المستقبل، و حزب الله بمقر للجيش اللبناني. بخلاصة الاجتماع إتفقو الإخوان إنو يبقو على إتصال حتى ما تتجدد المناوشات بين مناصريهم
هيدا كلو تمام
المشكل معي إنو بعد المشاكل بمنطقة راس النبع حركة أمل اصدرت بيان إنو يابا نحنا ما خصنا ب يلي صار. نفس الشي مع تيار المستقبل، و نفس الشي لحزب الله
Lebanon: 30LL Political Correspondent Habib Gives his Insight
Souss: We’ve been without a President for 3 months now, and all efforts to resolve the deadlock have proven unsuccessful. Are we a nation incapable of governing itself?
Habib: If by incapable of governing itself you mean, at the forefront of political philosophy and application of ground-breaking concepts to the field of global decision-making, then yes.
(awkward silence)
Souss: I’m… I’m sorry? What?
Habib: Souss, Lebanon is taking multi-lateralism to the next level. The time of old-fashioned elections when only the “people” get to choose who heads the country is gone. The truth is, we live in the 21st century, and in what is termed the “Global Village”. And it’s time we started acting like one. I mean, what more of a demonstration of human brotherhood do you want, than having Bernard Kouchner and Amr Moussa participate in one same process of electing the Lebanese President?
And we need to bring even more people into the process until every single country is involved. Albania, Trinidad, Uzbekistan? Come on down! The Lebanese people are happy to share this decision with their human brethren and sister…ren. I’m not sure that’s a word… But you get my point: This my friend, is called progress. Are you an enemy of progress?
(awkward silence)
Souss: P… Progress? No I think I am for progress.
Habib: Good. ‘Cause you can’t stop progress.
Souss: But isn’t the whole point of having a country, isn’t the whole point that its people be able to decide how it functions?
Habib: (surprised) Country? Who said anything about a country?
Lebanon is not a country, Souss, it’s much more than that. It’s an experiment, a message, as the late Pope John Paul II described it. It’s time we went beyond the rigid concepts of the 20th century. We are in an era where flexibility is crucial, where adaptability is key, where versatility is a must. And our politicians are at the forefront. Look at [Druze leader MP Walid] Jumblat for example. He may be the most versatile human being on this planet.
And while regular folks and ignorant retards like you may not get it, the people in charge do, and thank God for that. New ideas, new concepts, new technology. And this, with the same leadership we’ve had for the past 20+ years. Isn’t that amazing? Imagine if we were to bring in some of that young talent we have. I don’t think the world could take it. I have goose bumps just thinking about it myself!
Souss: Some would argue that having the same politicians for such a long time is a sign of lack of political maturity…
Habib: We are showing to the world what political maturity is, Souss. Our politicians aren’t egocentric or power-hungry. They are already passing the torch to the next generation. I mean look at Samy Gemayel, or Michel Moawad, they are living examples of that new talent I was talking about. Just a couple names in the sea of young heroes who are sons or daughters of current politicians, ready to continue in the direction their parents are taking us now.
But like I said earlier, the world is not ready for that Tsunami of Talent that we have in bank. We don’t want to shock the planet with too many revolutionary ideas at once. Slow, well-planned, well-thought out progress. That’s what we’re all about, Souss.
When Mrs. Moawad decides to retire, Michel will be there, with his solid, clear-cut ideas and that cute way he pronounces Rs. A real man from the rugged mountains of the north, yet with a pure, soft and innocent way to communicate. (becoming slightly emotional) God bless you Nayla for bringing him into this world.
Did you know that it takes 4 hairdressers and on average 9 hours everyday to fix her hair? All this to make herself beautiful for Lebanon, Souss.
Souss: 9 hours? Wow.
Habib: Yes, the hairdo also holds a built-in snack compartment (courtesy of Ghandour), and a 5L container of unleaded fuel, you know, for emergencies. Quite amazing, actually.
(awkward silence)
Souss: Okay… That’s terrific. Thanks very much Habib.
Souss, Guy, Joe (aka Cupid), & WiseCookie get together for an impromptu podcast session.
The guys gathered to discuss February 14th, the anniversary of the late PM Rafic Hariri’s assassination.
A 32-minute long recording filled with a few laughs and some tense moments. Listen up and give us your feedback by posting a comment or recording a voicemail.
30LL correspondent Samir Na3na3 (SN) is on a tour to interview different political parties’ delegates (PDs).
This week, he conducted his first interview. SN was the host of the Progressive Socialist Party delegate, and here’s the text:
SN: Mr. PD, why did you change the party’s flag’s color?
PD: In the current situation we decided that it is in the best interest of our constituency to become the party that defends the Druze interests. Even though we are a secular party, with the current rift in the society, we are now the self-proclaimed defenders of the Druze community.
SN: But doesn’t that contradict what the party stands for?
PD: Well, our leadership knows better about what the party stands for, so please don’t try to act smart with me.
SN: Absolutely not Mr. PD, but I was just wondering because I thought you believed in accountability?
PD: I really feel you are antagonistic, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt. We do believe in accountability. As a matter of fact we hired a lot of Lebanese accountants to be able to arrange some of the irregularities that went on in the ministry of the displaced, but …
SN: Hold on, hold on. What? I was asking about accountability of the leadership, but what you said is very dangerous. How in good conscience could you say that?
PD: Oh. Well, the country was under occupation, you need to understand that. This is why we needed to do it, we needed to protect our citizens.
SN: I see. I never thought of it that way. Mr. PD, can you tell us what exactly is the agenda or the political program of your party?
PD: Of course. Here were our main priorities from a couple of years and until today.
1) Privatization of all governmental institutions. Not yet achieved, we’re working on it.
2) 12 TV interviews per year for the Bek. 8 of which need to set higher standards for fiery speeches. Excellent performance.
3) Insult Fairuz. Achieved.
4) Insult Majida el Roumi. Passed with flying colors.
SN: Why is insulting the artists part of your agenda?
PD: I don’t know. Can I call a friend?
SN: It’s OK, we’ll call you back later for further details. What about privatization? It’s not a particular characteristic of socialist parties to ask for privatization.
PD: I understand the people’s scepticism on this issue. But I would like to clarify that this measure is being taken for two reasons, one is administrative and the second is corruption. They are somehow interrelated.
SN: Wow, Mr. PD, I never thought I’d hear it from you. Please continue.
PD: What are you talking about? This issue is related to both the party and the coalition. Many of our cadres find it unfair that Marwan got a beneficial treatment with the Telecom sector. Our allies also think that tourism is not a good ministry, if you know what I mean. So we have to be fair to all, otherwise we will start having internal problems from which the enemies of Lebanon will take advantage.
SN: I see. I was completely off track on that one. The final question for you, how do you see the Bek in his last TV appearances, some of your allies are saying not to take his words literally?
PD: Yes, of course. I see that some people are trying to hold the Bek responsible for the exact words he said. This is a known strategy that our coalition has learned to endure from the Syrian tools. Anyway, the Bek is bigger than the criticism of these few possessed souls manipulated by the big devil in Syria.
SN: Ah OK. Thank you Mr. PD for your time and valuable insight.
PD: My pleasure.
Welcome to Podcast#21, the first podcast of 30LL’s second season.
In this comeback Podcast, we have Joe, Souss, Guy, Meej, and M3allem Nour.
Our first topic deals with last week’s confrontations between Shiah residents & army forces.
For the second topic we discuss the Akram Shouhayyeb letter to iconic Fairuz. Shouhayyeb turned entertainment into a political issue and sent an open letter to Fairuz urging her not to perform in Syria. Included is an inside scoop involving the famed lulliby: Yalla Tnam Yalla Tnam
Last but not least, we take on an all important question: Do we really need a president?
How did Lebanon end up with a nation-wide snow storm?
How about the timing of this supposedly innocent storm? Whose interests does this serve most?
Valid questions we attempt to answer in the first installment of our new feature: Conspiracy Uncovered.
So it begins. Days of increasing protests from the opposition’s camp, road blockades, burning tires, it all grew too bothersome but stopping it required more human resources than the government was willing (or able) to provide. The loyalists summoned the powers that be and called for help. Unusual circumstances they argued, required unusual measures. The powers obliged and hit Lebanon with one of the wackiest snow storms in recent memory.
Government 1 - 0 Opposition
The government had bigger problems previously, you say, how come they never resorted to such strategies? The reason being that the powers we talk of were not out there to help the Lebanese government. There was a bigger ally and a bigger cause to cater for.
You guessed it ladies and gentlemen. This marked the glorious return of the Zionist conspiracy.
With increased Hezbulla activity in the vicinity of the Israeli-Lebanese border, rumors of more soldiers being abducted were all over the place and the Zionists decided a military activity was not the method of choice. The snow halted all of Hezbulla’s activities in South Lebanon, a party with no expertise when it comes to dealing with snowy conditions. Hezbulla was scrambling for mittens and coats and really was in no position to react in a timely manner.
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