30 LL: A Lebanese Podcast for Hommos-Sapiens

Coco // 30LL.org

Jay Z is seen uttering the word Ouwwet right after saying Alla while flashing the LF sign with Kanye West.

[More soon..]

Lebanese-Americans scoff at explanation of behavior
By Yvonne Abraham for The Boston Globe | May 24, 2006

Sympathy for Dr. Robert M. Haddad was in short supply yesterday at Bay Sweets Market in West Roxbury , where Lebanese customers were stocking up on olives and spinach pies.

Disapproval, rolling eyes, and mirth, on the other hand, were plentiful.

Female employees at Caritas Christi Health Care System have said that Haddad, president of the system, hugged them, kissed them on the lips, rubbed their backs, and called them late at night. Haddad issued a statement Monday saying that his behavior was an extension of his Lebanese heritage, “where hugs and kisses are not only expected, but warmly given and received,” and that the behavior was misinterpreted by his accusers.

That explanation was met with skepticism and laughter among Lebanese-Americans at Bay Sweets and beyond.

“Shame on him,” said Fayze Ishac, spitting out the words in Arabic, when told of Haddad’s situation. “It’s not Lebanese. It’s not true.”

“This man is the exception,” she continued in English. “It’s not our culture.”

Sure, the Lebanese-Americans agreed, they are affectionate, free with friendly hugs and kisses — on the cheeks — for people they know and love.

But this? There is a name for the transgressions of which Haddad is accused, and it’s not “being Lebanese,” they said.

“This is harassment,” said Wally Zainoun, a Newton business owner gathering up oranges and olive oil. “I don’t like that, saying because he is Lebanese, he is kissing his employees [on the lips]. Why is it because he is Lebanese? It’s part of our culture to show our warmth with kisses. I don’t see a problem with that. But no. Not on the lips! That’s unacceptable, whether you’re Lebanese or Chinese or whatever.”

A customer who refused to give his name said he thought Haddad showing affection to employees was perfectly fine, and he blamed America’s litigious culture for Haddad’s predicament.

But Jay Zahr, who owns Bay Sweets, laughed when he heard that Haddad had explained the accusations using his heritage.

“He can kiss his own daughter, but not somebody else’s daughter,” Zahr said.

“On the mouth?” asked his wife, Aida, who was helping him behind the counter.

“I’m not against kissing, but I’m against harassment,” Zahr said. “It does reflect badly on us. He uses it as an alibi, and that’s no good.”

A specialist on Arabic culture, Leila Fawaz, professor of history at Tufts University’s Fares Center for Eastern Mediterranean studies, was asked for a reaction to the statement released by Haddad.

She laughed for some time.

“Mediterranean people are more demonstrative in general, but he has been in this country how many years?” she finally asked.

“Oh, forget it,” she said, when told that Haddad, 52, was born and raised in Medford. “I never met someone from any Lebanese background, here or abroad, who would kiss a woman he doesn’t know on the lips, so this is very bizarre.”

Haddad has years of experience in the workplace, and he should know better, no matter his heritage, said Fawaz, who was born in Lebanon.

“This man is an American, working in a professional setting in America,” Fawaz said. “It makes no sense if he thinks he can even see a woman in his office without keeping his door open, let alone touch a finger on her. As far as Lebanese culture is concerned, this is far-fetched.”

The men interviewed yesterday said there are clear limits on how affectionate a Lebanese man can be.

“I always hug people,” said Nick Abraham, a Boston lawyer whose parents were Lebanese immigrants. “If there’s a lady involved I might kiss her on the cheek. But I would not kiss anyone on the lips, and no Lebanese man that I know who is a gentleman would do that. That doesn’t seem to be friendliness. That’s more intimate.”

Several Lebanese-Americans said Haddad’s statement had tainted their image.

“We are known to be very accurate, we are disciplined, we act with dignity and are very straight in all,” said Zainoun. “Lebanese are people who act wth dignity and honor, and there is no way they do such things. . . . This guy seems to be disrupting the reputation of Lebanese people. That’s not nice.”

Ali, Jad, & Meej get together for a casual political chit chat with our two guests: Claire & Hadi.

Claire & Hadi do not necessarily share the same outlook on things in Lebanon and that made for quite an interesting discussion about the upcoming Arab League summit, the presence of USS Cole near Lebanese waters, and a few other things.

Download here [right-click / save as]